do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
