someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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