when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
