she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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