If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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