Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I still have a little drunk in my system
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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