Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
