If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
