I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
