no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
