My room smells like vodka and shame
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
