I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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