Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize