do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
