i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
