Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
