Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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