oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
