Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
What a dumb baby whore.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
