Screwed.edu
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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