My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
