dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize