Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize