Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
