suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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