im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He passed out mid-signature
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
