I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
