found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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