your parents love me but you hate me
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
