weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
vagina is talking i cant
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
