dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
