Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
