I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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