okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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