forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
