Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
