Apparently you make a good broom.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
