she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
