What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
