i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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