u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize