smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
