the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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