I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
