Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My bed smells like the plague
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize