you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
