stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
