look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
