He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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