it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
