is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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