Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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