does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
