How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
