Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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