I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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