How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
