Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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