I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My penis needs a shock collar
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize