We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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