Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
