My sheets look like a crime scene.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
