Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
